It has been so long since I’ve been on here, and I feel like I owe it to you guys to come and give you a quick update on how I’m doing.
It has been really crazy the last couple of months. So many good things have happened, and so many unfortunate events have happened to really put a damper on my life. I went to Nicaragua this summer (details to come). Nicaragua was really a life changing experience, I had such an amazing time. When I got back from Nicaragua, I got engaged (details to come). The same week I got engaged, I landed my dream job and Passed an exam I thought I would have surely failed. I was literally on top of the world, I felt like finally I was at a place in my life where things were falling into place. I could not believe the miracles God was doing in my life and I was so grateful for that.
Then 2 weeks after I got engaged and 2 days before I was supposed to start my job, my father suffered a stroke. I came home that afternoon and he was watching tv, I said hi to him and he just shook his head. I didn’t notice that something was wrong until my sister got home about half an hour later. Took him to the hospital and it was confirmed he suffered a stroke. He suffered one 5 years ago and he was able to walk out the hospital talking and walking. This time the stroke has affected both his speech and his walking.
The day I got engaged, I really was excited for my parents mostly. I am the first of their 4 children to get engaged, my father was literally walking on cloud 9. While he was in the hospital I really felt broken that there was a possibility, he wouldn’t live to see me get married and to walk me down the aisle. Thank God he is home now and although he is not speaking and walking fully, I am so grateful that he is alive.
So where am I mentally? I am honestly drained. I haven’t done my makeup fully in so long, I haven’t felt like dressing up. The anxiety has slowly creeped back in and my body of course is letting me know something is off. This was supposed to be such a big time in my life. I got engaged, I got my dream job and things were feeling right. I am planning my wedding but I am not fully enjoying it as much as I should. I worry about my dad, I worry about my mom seeing my dad the way that he is.
Since today is mental health day, I thought I would stop by to just encourage anyone dealing with the issues I’m dealing with. It’s okay to not feel okay everyday. It’s okay if you want to cry it out, or even scream it out. Whatever it is you need to do to feel better, DO IT!!!! it;s important to take care of you first, and worry about everything else after. I know things are tough for me now, but I know that things will get better. It’s hard sometimes to understand the things that life throws, but we just have to keep pushing!!