Ecclesiastes 3:1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.
Yesterday I completed my first semester of Grad school and it felt pretty good. When I got home last night after class, I was thinking about just how good God has been to me these past few months. I graduated College in 2014 and I really wanted to go to grad school right after but financially I couldn’t afford to go. I was really beating myself for not being able to go to grad school, especially because it took me almost a year to find a job after I graduated. But you know last night it really occurred to me that God’s timing is always the best.
Around the time I graduated college was when my anxiety issues were the worst. Mentally I was not in a good place at all. It was around the time I was having the really bad nightmares, especially the summer following my graduation. I also started getting physically sick often because sometimes when you are mentally sick, your body is affected as well. I would be sick for weeks at a time, have never-ending colds, stomach viruses; you name it I had it. It was to the point where I thought I had a serious diseases, I was self diagnosing myself all the time and was always too scared to go see a doctor. Also having to deal with the facts that I was unemployed, broke and just depressed.
Once I turned 25 I really started feeling low because I felt like I was so behind in everything. People were getting married, getting great jobs, buying new cars; and I was still stuck. I had gotten a job that I absolutely hated, but stayed because I needed the money. People were telling me go to back to school that I should have gone straight after graduation; and it really took a toll on me
So last night I was really reflecting on my semester and where I am now; I came to the conclusion that I really need to start trusting God more. Honestly this is the best that I’ve felt mentally in years. I got a new job that I love and I am managing my anxiety. I realized that if I had gone back to school right after graduation, I probably would have either failed or have a mental break down. you really need to be in the right space to work full-time and go to school full time. Back then I could not even go through a week without getting sick, how was I going to deal with school? I got accepted into Grad school at the right time, at the time God intended and it was the perfect time. I am so blessed to be able to complete a semester and say not once did I freak out, not once did I get sick, not once did my mind go crazy. I completed all of my assignments, I passed all of my exams, and I found so much passion in what I was learning.
Sometimes it’s hard as people and as christians to trust God’s timing because we want to be able to have control over how things go in our lives. But trust me as Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, there is a timing for everything. Just trust that God has your best interest at heart and will always come through at the perfet time.